The Warriors of Old

" ²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^[a] 28 In the same wayhusbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body. ³¹“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³²This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5: 21-33

          I think what bothers me the most right now is the lack of Godly male leadership or even Biblically “manly” men, and the fact that the blame for this to a large degree rests with my gender. I know this seems to be a small concern in proportion some of the others I listed, but as it relates to the body of Christ, this is a very grave concern. God created man as the head for a reason, and, needless to say, a body with only a partial head is not very useful. I am very aware that my views are not the same as those of many others. My intention is not to step on toes or shake my finger under anyone’s nose, because I am a guilty as anyone else. But this issue is a serious one to me.

          Without solid male leadership, my church would not have made it through some of the rough times it has encountered. I watched the men take charge, the women support and the Body as a whole act, and marveled at it. Then a troubling thought began to gnaw at a corner of my mind. This is how it is supposed to be, I realized, not something to be amazed by. So I went back in my mind and tried to figure out why this wasn’t the case. It was with a sickening feeling in my stomach that I realized that part of the blame rested with me. Now, I am not blaming all of it on either gender or even on our time period. I do think we have some claim to it, but its roots reach way back into our history. This is a subject I have often pondered and occasionally discussed, always finding it to be a tender subject with unbelievers. But within the walls of Kuyper, I find proof that there are indeed the kind of leaders, both men and women, that our world needs.

          Solid Christian leaders equipped with a heart for people and the message of Christ will be what changes our world. Both genders have a part in this. I do not claim “a woman’s only role is at home, supporting her husband and raising the children.” No! I am not of the school of thought that says women should grow up to be good Christian girls, marry a good Christian man and, to put it crudely, “breed like a rodent.” I, for one, fully intend to pursue the mission field. But I do hold that it is the role of a man to preach and teach, especially when it comes to men.

          I spent a year traveling with a singing gospel team. Of the twenty-five people who made up the team, thirteen were young men. Our director saw to it that both genders “acted what God made them to be.” As a girl, I was to let the guys lift my heavy things for me, hold the door for me, pick up my microphone for me. Small things, but believe me, they count! You feel respected and loved, once you learn to submit to the gentlemanly treatment. And to the men, we asked them to let us minister to them in the best way we knew how: food! But it went deeper than that – these guys had become our brothers and we did everything we could to show them that we loved them as such. Hot cocoa when they came in from working on a cold day, sweet tea when it was hot. Something as small as doing the dishes for them when we knew they were tired only served to foster their respect for us.

          What can we as women do to help men feel like the leaders they are and were created to be? I hold true that it really is mostly about the little things; waiting for them to hold the door, letting them help you with your chair, giving up the load you’re carrying if they try to help you. And thanking them for each act of kindness when it’s given. And it's not all about letting them do things for you -- show them you care through what you do. Sometimes, it's making them a sandwich (Oh, am I gonna catch heat for that one!), sometimes it's doing their dishes, sometimes it's just being willing to stand down and let them do their job. God made our men to be leaders and hardwired them to be protectors – the helping hand they offer is a response to more than just Mama’s lessons on common courtesy.