There are some days when I want to
break things. Punch things. Howl at the sky. Run for miles and not stop
running. Fight until I can't stand up any longer. Those are the hardest days to
stagnate.
I want to feel alive. To feel. To be
part of something larger. To make a difference. But right now, there's a
waiting period to get through.
And it feels so meaningless.
So needless.
Like I could be doing great things,
making a difference
right
now.
But instead, I’m waiting.
Stagnating,
growing stale.
Like living in a cage.
Have you ever seen animals, wild
animals, after they're first caught and caged? Their eyes. So frustrated,
angry. Pent-up rage and ability. Not despair and not hope. Just eagerness,
inborn desire, yearning for an opportunity to escape and live again.
And after a while, that look fades
and hopelessness, resignedness takes its place. That, in essence, is what I am
afraid of.
That I will have lived and learned
and loved and died, without truly living.
Because life, true life, the life we
were designed for, has purpose.
And my body cries out to fulfill
that purpose.
But yet, I must wait. For a time.
But the end result, when the waiting
is over and it's my turn to fight, it will be sweeter for the waiting.
May
I
Be
Ready.
May my sword be sharp, my quiver
full, my nerves steeled and my heart ready. May the pureness of Him fill me
until I cannot be tarnished by what this world has to offer. May this time of
waiting be put to use.
In the words of one who's gone
before,
"My banner will be clear."
